Thankfulness

Sometimes its hard to be thankful. When you are lonely or full of despair, or your life is stuck and you just can't seem to get past the same awful lesson that God keeps taking you to over and over and over again. Then we get to November, Thanksgiving. And its thankful day. Its unbearable if you are in that place of unthankfulness. I don't know if you've ever been there, but I have, and its painful.

Yesterday a boy was eating his way through the grocery store, he was hungry, and he got caught. It was thanksgiving day - they called the police, and they arrested him. He was only a teenager; far from home, hungry, and lonely. He didn't look like he was having a very good thanksgiving, and the police and grocery store were not hot on the compassion aspects of the day. Off he went with three policemen, probably still aching in his stomach.

I am not condoning shoplifting or anything like that, but there are very real circumstances in peoples lives that drive them to a place where thanksgiving is just not the first thing on their lips. Its strange but having been in this place once in my life now, I no longer feel the need to make them thankful! No more, OH COME ON YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR!!!!!

Sometimes its okay to just sit in the midst of a persons despair and just be with them, support them, and honor their story by listening. There will be a time of thanksgiving for them, a time and a season of rejoicing.

I think having walked through the valley of the shadow of death, this thanksgiving was even that much sweeter, that much more wonderful, that much more rich.

My cup floweth over.......

Transitions

It seems pretty much everyone I speak to these days is going through some sort of transition - either they are scaling back, or they are being scaled back; they have lost their job or they are anticipating layoffs; they are in the midst of the shock waves this past year. And they are afraid. To one degree or another the changes in our world have had a cascading effect on many people forcing transitions, some good - and many difficult.

Today in church a scripture was sung that spoke to me deeply about transitions. It was so beautiful as we sung this scripture I imagined this to be a beautiful exchange, a sense of completion that you feel as you have moved fully from one transition to a new place. What a beautiful scripture to meditate on as you wait upon the Lord and discern what he has for you next in your journey, whatever it is that you are going through - let peace speak to your heart.

PSALM 85:8-13

I will listen to what the Lord God is saying
for he is speaking peace to his faithful people
and to those who turn their hearts to him.

Truly his salvation is very near to those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.

Mercy and truth have met together,
righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

The Lord will indeed grant prosperity,
and our land will yield its increase.

Righteousness shall go before him,
and peace shall be a pathway for his feet.


I am in transition. Moving from a place of perfectionism to a place of understanding what it is that God requires of me, moving from a place of blind faith to a place of rich faith in a God that is full of mercy. The painful truth is that transitions can take time to navigate through.

What will you make of your season of transition? To each one of us its very personal, however God is merciful and full of goodness. He will meet your every need along the way.

Peace.

What makes it possible to love those we think are unlovable?

To several someones in her life, our little girl was an outcast. I've been writing and thinking a lot about loving the unlovable, or those that it isn't easy for us to love. How is it then that for us she is the apple of our eye, the joy of our life, the center of our days.....she makes us full. How can that be that to a system half a world a way she was at one point just a file, a nothing, low and unloved....yet the Lord saw fit to lift her up, put her in our hearts and put her in this family where she is so loved we can't stop pinching ourselves we are so blessed by her in our lives?

Why hasn't he given me those same eyes and that same heart for the person who cuts me off on the road, where is my compassion then, it goes right out the window. Or the person who takes my seat, when I get up only to get a napkin at the food court, or worse the Christian neighbor who doesn't act like either, where is my ability to love with these folks, when it all came so easy for me with our little girl. Why her, why then, why that stranger, and not all the others? What will it take to love every stranger (not like) but love, and eventually maybe one day have a heart of compassion as well.....in this new year, that is my prayer. That I would begin to love and look at each person I come in contact with like I first looked at my Gigi; with compassion and love.

How does this happen? I think going back to my blog last week about the quiet retreat (for women - yes please please try this at your churches you will all be blessed); we ended with the Lords supper. Our Rev. Diane, had us serve each other, and for me although it was kind of funny what happened, Gods learning for me was through to the end. We served each other the elements at the end. As I went to serve the lady to my left, I was so nervous I would give her too much of the wine I didn't even give her any....then nervous I would repeat my mistake I gave her so much she basically choked on the communion wine.....

That is a perfect picture for how I tend to approach strangers, with timidity I tend to not give enough for fear I will overdo...then when its not enough I do too much, and overwhelm. I've come to realize the only way I can extend the love I so want to to that stranger is by meeting Jesus at the table, with his broken body and spilt blood he shows me how to love. He demonstrates for me true love poured out for everyone. This is my real lesson, and maybe just maybe as time goes on, little by little, week by week, as He makes Himself more and more real to me; I will make myself more real to the stranger, the downtrodden, the poor, the unloved, and the unlovable. Its so easy to love the people who are fun and easy to be with, but my goal this year is to be an outstretched hand to the people who I don't understand and who don't understand me.

I look at the picture in this post, and I remember, three years ago exactly this Christmas we brought home a baby who was terrified of dogs, who now rides upon a huge horse commanding it about the arena with sureness and certainty. That my friends is the power of love. Love abounding in a child's life that speaks possibility and life into them. We can be that as the body of Christ and as brothers and sisters for each other.

If you don't have anything nice to say, well don't blog....

For the past several weeks I have been quiet in my blogging. Mostly because though some people like to be controversial with their blogs, to generate more followers, that just isn't my approach. So, I decided to follow the age old wisdom, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Well I am back, and though I hope what I say will be thought provoking, my thoughts are in a much better place today then the day I went to the women's retreat at my new church.
It was an awesome day, a women's retreat in SILENCE! Yep, no speaking, nothing for 6 hours...and that was the totality of the retreat, I am telling you folks I love my church~it rocks....During the six hours of silence you could do anything you wanted that nourished your spirit and prepared your "manger for advent" including seeking spiritual direction from our Reverend, and you could get a massage from a nun who came down to serve the women that day. So I wrote a lot, about things that have been disturbing me lately.
That is why I stopped blogging. I love being Episcopal because we love everyone, our doors are open wide to all who will come - left, right, middle, white, black, all who love or seek to know the Lord are welcome at His table. Its liberating, but what has been troubling me is that word, love. Do I really love everyone? Do you?
The only honest answer I have found at the quiet retreat, and am living with today is no, not really. I don't love everyone, and that means that I am not following the greatest of the commands, and that is really a bummer. I am falling short, so short of what Christ wants for and from me; but this is no great surprise to him.....
That too is what I am living with, the implications of a God who is not surprised by anything, nothing. On one hand its a great comfort, on another hand it really makes me angry. These are the new realities that are a part of my spiritual journey today, I suppose they have always been there, but today as I slow down, way down in my life I am starting to understand just who it is I don't love well in the kingdom and world around me; and why. And its quite convicting.

If you are willing to spend even an hour of quiet contemplation and make that list God will bless you for your honesty and He will be faithful to begin to give you eyes to see how and who to love and why it is so important that we love those who are the least like us, the least likely to deserve our love, and he will help us to gain a heart and understanding for them. Watch, it will happen, then come back and please tell me about it!

What we already knew....we are in a recession.

After church on Sunday the Rev. Diane gave my husband a copy of her Thanksgiving service to share with me. I was so blessed by her words, and today one of the points she made kept echoing in my head and heart - more on that later.

Today the government announced with its usual flair that we have apparently been in a recession for one year. Now I don't know about you, but I didn't need that announcement to confirm what I've known for quite some time. Sure there are technical, economic indicators that confirm we are indeed in an economic recession. Unfortunately its only in hindsight that this pronouncement can be made - with historical data.

How then are we to respond, especially as Christians. Now we get back to the Rev. Diane's most awesome Thanksgiving message. She says, "now is not the time to hoard, or operate from fear but rather to be as generous as you can afford to be in sharing your blessings with others who are less fortunate." I mean wow, how counter intuitive, yet how totally Christ-like. Right now, I am watching every single penny I am spending, and cutting every extravagance - but the one thing I shouldn't be cutting is my giving; especially to the poor, needy, and disenfranchised. Sure that would be an easy cut because really how far away from us are they? Africa, Indonesia, Russia? Well no, they are our neighbors. They are people just like you and me - people who have been laid off from work who just need a little kindness; someone to be generous with them in these scary times.

So these were my marching orders this past weekend, give as much as we can - not simply materially but time, energy, love, laughter, interest, compassion, care, concern, acknowledgment, encouragement and the coat off your back. Now that is a challenge that gets me excited about weathering this recession, staying generous in word, spirit, and deed through fearful times.

What about you, will you join me in becoming recession proof through having a spirit of generosity? Go ahead, try it tomorrow just bless someone either in spirit or deed and see how it goes. Maybe even that homeless person at the end of the freeway off ramp who you think is just running a racket, give them the benefit of the doubt and a buck or a burger or something.....just do it, try this generosity thing on for size and lets see if we can't counter the pervasive fear that is spreading around with some good old fashion christian love and kindness.

100 Things to Do Before I Die

On my 40th Birthday I created a bucket list, consisting of one hundred things to do before I died. It was a hard list to make, I mean it was hard to come up with one hundred things that I really wanted to do before I died. Mostly I really wanted a lot of quality experiences with my family....but I had to put some pretty bizarre stuff on there to get to one hundred. At the same time, my daughter and I compared lists and it was funny to see some of the contrasts on our lists. For example; I wanted to "be picked from the crowd to get a kiss from Shamu" and she wanted to, "dive with killer whales." This clearly demonstrated the difference between our ages - and our different levels of willingness to risk in life. My daughter is brave and also she is willing to try things I am completely unwilling to. For example, after we became certified, the first dive she did was a night dive! So courageous, for me - I was certain I would be eaten by something in the deep dark sea, so I stayed behind; and after 4 years still haven't mustered the courage to do it, but it is on my bucket list.
Lately since leaving Worship Leader Magazine, I am working on a new list; my gratitude list. Things I am grateful for in my life. It is easy when you are going through hard times to become angry and bitter. And I am revising my bucket list. Some of the absurd items are coming off, and I am adding things to my list that really matter to me, like, "learn to forgive my enemies." That one may come as I draw my last breath, but its certainly worthy of the list! A couple weeks ago a friend of mine, Tracie was diagnosed with cancer. She has given me permission to share her amazing story. She is at the beginning of her cancer journey. She is working on her lists with me; and one of her bucket list items is a tattoo at LA Ink, and to be on a TV Show, also to be on a Radio Show. We are working together to get her in Mid-March of this year to LA Ink. So yesterday while in LA we went up to LA Ink and did a little scouting trip. It was so different than I thought it would be.
We walked in to this little tiny shop and I guess I thought I would see Kat Von D right there, my husband took a seat in the pink coffin window seat with Gigi while we talked to the gentlemen at the front desk. It was very surreal.
All this to say, its good to have goals and things to live for, little things like LA Ink, and big things like, "learn to forgive my enemies." What is on your bucket list? What is on your gratitude list? These two lists are what I am meditating on right now and working to stay focused on because the distractions of life tend to want to pull me into the wrong focus right now, they want to pull me into my fleshly nature, into all the trappings of life - not at all where God intends or desires me to be.
I am so proud of my friend Tracie for starting her bucket list. It doesn't take a cancer diagnosis to start fighting for your life.....or living for life's little and big adventures - intentionally. I guess some people don't even need lists; but its nice to have one and to document the journey along the way that the Lord is taking you on as you see Him work in and through you accomplishing your bucket list!

Here are a few of the items that I have finished on my list;
See Christiana Graduate High School
See Trevor get into a college
Get Gigi to 40lbs.
Learn how to text message
Get Scuba Certified

Here are a few on my list that I still have to finish:
See a cure for AIDS in my lifetime
Learn to forgive my enemies
See Greece with Mark for our 30th Anniversary
Do a night dive


Why not start a bucket list for yourself, its a great way to see and acknowledge a life lived with intention, and all of the blessings that the Lord is bestowing upon you as you move from one adventure to the next.

Be blessed.
Julie

Empty Nest - Full Nest

The process of gathering back together our family - all of our families for Thanksgiving requires both grace and patience. May you be blessed with an abundant measure of both.

Today I went and saw the movie Bolt, with my six year old and my eighteen year old, and what a great movie it was, fantastic. I give that one a five on my highest rating. It had it all, though the story line was reminicient of the Truman Show it was worth the effort and money, and we all laughed a lot.

We spent today remembering, putting back together our little family, the kids are coming home, we are all going to be back under the same roof together for the first time since July of this year. And it feels great. As I type this I can hear laughter around our little neighborhood of patio homes as others do the same, and begin celebrating the holiday.

All I want to do this holiday though really is remember to be so thankful that it drips off my lips to God every second that I am so grateful for my family, for my life, for what He has given me - though I cannot comprehend what my life is at this moment or the twists and turns of our current path or journey, He knows and He is faithful and I thank Him for that.

May you have a cup that overflows this holiday, remember your God, and rejoice and be thankful!

More to thank God for;

Redvines
Popcorn
Rain
Jude & Brenton Brown
Iphones
Blogs
Facebook
Christiana Reid
Fingers
Turkey

In no particular order, what are you thankful for?

Julie Reid