If you knew you couldn't fail........

I never thought I would feel this happy after my son dropped the bomb on us last night that he is the fourth floor "care rep" part of his psychology major responsibilities, of caring for his fellow students. The role involves counseling students who have been involved in rape, who need condoms, who think they might have an STD, and so on. Honestly, my feelings were ambivalent. I was so proud of his willingness to serve, but I have strong feelings about sex being the best in the confines of marriage, so the distribution of condoms from room 403 is really not what I thought college would be about for my boy. After a lot of dialogue though and reassurance that he feels the same, he explained about his role and how he gets to talk to kids about the choices they are making as well, it was really cool to hear about the difference he is making as the Care Rep....on the 4th floor of his little dorm here at Montana U. Now before everyone starts sending me hate mail, don't.

What I realized last night after he left was that I hadn't really affirmed him because I was very conflicted. So today I had a little repair work to do. You see our kids don't always get involved in what we want them to be involved in, but what I am most proud of is that he is involved. He is a leader. When I was his age I was just too insecure to join or lead anything. He is out there making a difference, in campus crusade, and in care rep, and in working on the carousel here in town doing wood working, he is volunteering his time and talent in a multitude of ways. Things that never would have crossed my mind at his age to do. Things that simply would have seemed so bizarre that I couldn't have fathomed putting myself out there, like he is doing. So yes, I am proud of him, and I had to tell him so today, and that I was wrong to judge the method of his making a difference, because it didn't fit in my "box" I couldn't give him what he needed from me the most last night, a good old fashioned, I am proud of you...just because you are you.....that would have been enough.

Today was great though, he explained why this is an important part of what he is learning in his psychology class, and listening to people, and confidentiality and all of that good stuff.

To the best of my ability I am working to listen with out judgement and just listen to what is over there. What if my son was able to keep someone from getting a disease that would take their life, or change their life forever by being a care rep on his floor? I don't know I still have a lot of conflicting feelings, but about him I am just amazed at his courage to step out and take risks. To go on paths his dad and I never did or would, to be a little trailblazer.

I pray he will never lose that. I wonder when I did? What in life keeps me from stepping out into new areas that God would have for me - maybe not passing out condoms :) but maybe passing out food to the poor, or starting a new venture, or adopting another child.

I have a little paperweight in my office, and it reads like this:

If you knew you couldn't fail, then what would you do?

Well, what would you do?

Passing the Sniff Test

Maybe its because I've been reading books like UnChristian, or because I have recently gone through a betrayal by a christian friend, but I am fairly sensative to those people who claim to be christian but act in ways that are truely unchristian. These two recent events and even the uncertainty in our world have had me doing a lot of self examination and questioning of my own life, and values- and really digging into the Word in a new way. I am hanging out a lot in the Psalms, Romans, and in Pauls amazing letters - which make new sense in the midst of lifes crisis's and challenges.

And why not feel terrible when we experience a betrayal, or even something as benign as a mis-step from a fellow brother or sister? We are all guilty of this, we all fall short. But think about it, It's really quite un-natural for us to say we are one thing and then act in ways that are completely opposite, or atleast it ought to be. After we become believers, we honestly should really feel uncomfortable when we betray our friends, or lie, or stab others in the back, or cheat, or bear false witness, or divide each other, or hurt each other, or act unkindly, or gossip, or do things that are simply counter intuitive in the christian life. It should feel really odd, wierd, uncomfortable - though we still sin - we have been redeemed, we should become more and more sensative to the heart of and ways of Christ the longer we walk with Him, and more and more we should become uncomfortable when we fall back to the ways of this world. Now I know I am shoulding a lot on you....for that I am sorry, but really there isn't a better way to say it.

But my question to you today is do you pass the sniff test? Where in your life do you line up, and where do you need to be realigned with the word? If you were being observed by an outsider, what would they say? Would they even think you were a Christian? The big ah-ha moment for me in Unchristian is that there is a sniff test for outsiders, and we aren't passing it as a church.....we are not making that grade......by and large the church is viewed poorly by outsiders, we are seen as hypocritical - not as loving.

This weekend in our church service we sang this song, and I must confess that I long for these words to be true:
The Church of Christ in Every Age - WLP 779

The church of Christ in every age, beset by change but spirit led, must claim and test its heritage, and keep on rising from the dead. Across the world, across the street the victims of injustic cry for shelter and for bread to eat and never live until they die. The let the servant church arise. A caring chruch that longs to be a partner in Christs sacrifice, and clothed in Christs humanity. For Christ alone whose blood was shed can cure the fever in our blood. And teach us how to share our bread and feed the starving multitude. We have no mission but to serve in full obedience to our Lord, to care for all without reserve, and spread Christs liberating word.

Author Unknown

The church is always changing, always renewing through the spirit, the blood and redemption of Christ, we are the church.....I long for us for me to be the kind of Christian who will serve in full obedience without reserve! What a beautiful hymn!

Today I pray that we would be a beautiful fragrence, and pass the sniff test - I am encouraged by this reading:

Philippians 4:1-9 read it, and give me your thoughts this week as you stand firm in the Lord!

Julie