For the past several weeks I have been quiet in my blogging. Mostly because though some people like to be controversial with their blogs, to generate more followers, that just isn't my approach. So, I decided to follow the age old wisdom, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Well I am back, and though I hope what I say will be thought provoking, my thoughts are in a much better place today then the day I went to the women's retreat at my new church.
It was an awesome day, a women's retreat in SILENCE! Yep, no speaking, nothing for 6 hours...and that was the totality of the retreat, I am telling you folks I love my church~it rocks....During the six hours of silence you could do anything you wanted that nourished your spirit and prepared your "manger for advent" including seeking spiritual direction from our Reverend, and you could get a massage from a nun who came down to serve the women that day. So I wrote a lot, about things that have been disturbing me lately.
That is why I stopped blogging. I love being Episcopal because we love everyone, our doors are open wide to all who will come - left, right, middle, white, black, all who love or seek to know the Lord are welcome at His table. Its liberating, but what has been troubling me is that word, love. Do I really love everyone? Do you?
The only honest answer I have found at the quiet retreat, and am living with today is no, not really. I don't love everyone, and that means that I am not following the greatest of the commands, and that is really a bummer. I am falling short, so short of what Christ wants for and from me; but this is no great surprise to him.....
That too is what I am living with, the implications of a God who is not surprised by anything, nothing. On one hand its a great comfort, on another hand it really makes me angry. These are the new realities that are a part of my spiritual journey today, I suppose they have always been there, but today as I slow down, way down in my life I am starting to understand just who it is I don't love well in the kingdom and world around me; and why. And its quite convicting.
If you are willing to spend even an hour of quiet contemplation and make that list God will bless you for your honesty and He will be faithful to begin to give you eyes to see how and who to love and why it is so important that we love those who are the least like us, the least likely to deserve our love, and he will help us to gain a heart and understanding for them. Watch, it will happen, then come back and please tell me about it!
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